Fortune Teller

It all happened in the Wholefoods parking lot.

A woman taps me on the shoulder and says to me,

“You have an amazing energy. You’re aura is green and gold. Trust me, I don’t usually stop people but your energy just made me want to talk to you. You seem so open and friendly, people must always want to get to know you…”

I’ll admit, part of me was flattered.  I pride myself on being open and friendly, so she really hit the nail on the head there. However, the other part of me was hangry. I tried to politely smile and keep walking. She then grasped my hand, asking me if I was an actor and whether she’d seen me in anything… Uh oh. I rambled off something about just ‘hanging out in LA for fun,’ but she didn’t buy it. She went on to tell me that she is a Shaman, and that she see’s things other people don’t, and that I have a big film role coming up but there is something blocking the way. If I would only sit down and talk with her, I could find out how to get rid of said ‘blockage.’

…Come on mate. I may look pre-pubescent to you, but I wasn’t born yesterday.  I told her no, thank you, and that I am in fact a shaman myself and can sort out my own blockages.


She looked at me as though I had sprouted horns and started shuffling away like I’d just killed her cat. She was shaking her finger at me, and I’m pretty positive she was trying to place a curse upon me (didn’t she realise that I was ALREADY cursed? Was my ‘blockage’ not enough for her?) Had I sat down with her, would she really have tried to help me? Or would she have recited a speech and then asked me for $20? Somehow I think it would have been the latter.

Occasions like this make me reflect upon the fact that I’ve knowingly chosen to spend a portion of my life in this crazy city. So many times in LA, people try to prey on your weaknesses or insecurities. There’s a psychic on every corner and a pill for every illness. There’s a Bandaid solution for anything and everything. There are so many people here who are taken advantage of because of the sheer weight of their dream. A dream which they share with so many others, and a dream which can become all-consuming if you allow it, e.g. a friend of a friend of mine who decided she would abstain from sex indefinitely in order to fully focus on her career (WTF sister? You need to sort your life out).

So, to all my fellow dreamers out there; hold your chin up, keep breathing, don’t talk to strangers, and don’t let people take advantage of you…

Also, celibacy does not lead to an acting job.


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